If i had to try and explain how i feel then this would be my try.

Julia
Julia
Julia
Julia
Julia
Julia
Julia

My good words have run out
So i will try with these...

Some days i sit silent, silent in my room
Some days in silence, thoughts in bloom
Some days, "i want to se her soon".

As i sit, thoughts to feelings glue
As i sit, a nervous feeling blue
As it sit, there's only you.

Julia i want you
i hope you know
Julia i love you
i hope i show.

Days i wonder
Days i ponder.

I want hold the flower
I have to let it go
I want to pick the flower
I have to let it grow.

I want it to be now
I want it to be here
I want it to be wauw
I want it without fear.

I want it to be great
I want it to be fate.


Nervous
can't sleep
Waiting
Wanting
Longing.

.out.

.and.

.in.

Julia your breath, on neck
Julia your warmth, on skin.

i want to stand,

i want to kneel.

Being you
Being me

Disappear in wonderland
Disappear hand in hand
Diappear and re-appear

Getting lost in sjokoland.

Being close

Being near.

Walking past the sun, humorously, having fun.

Walking in the light, holding Meou tight.

Looking at the stars, playing keys and bars.

I try with words but i fail
My fingers slow, as a snail
in my heart in my mind
you and you and you i find

Sometimes i am affraid
Sometimes i am brave

Sometimes Julia...

Will the weather be good, have i cleaned enough, will i say the right thing, will i kiss her so she feels good, maybe i will over cook the food, maybe the bed will be too soft, maybe i will be boring, maybe she will be stressed, maybe we will fight, maybe many things will happen. Why am i so nervous. I do know why. It is because of my dream. Hope and fear. Laughter or Scream. I feel like the knot on a rope between two elefants. I want to be loosend, want to be untied, but hope and fear are pulling opposite...When will they calm down, pulling , pulling, running me dry.

White and white and white, you see, then the elephants and me.

Three black dots and a line.

And then a thought. You lay your hand on my stomach, your head on my arm, and the elephants take a rest.

Julia you're amazing.